Endless rants of the same topic

ok… my mom will not shut up… we have this semi- new priest at our church: Perry Chuipka

has anybody ever pointed out to her that nobody is perfect- he might make a small mistake here and a small mistake there but really- he isn’t actually hurting anyone other than maybe my mom’s pride. for instance when he appointed joyce for synod delegate- she goes on and on about how it was supposed to be a vote- get over it- its not like synod is that exciting anyway.

and even if you ARE going to rant about it- rant about it ONCE and ONLY ONCE- i dont need to listen to the same rant of 5 different occasions within a span of a couple months

so here it is: pride is hurt- rant- get over it…. end of chain

and you won’t even say anything to him anyway- the couple incidences that you claim to have- i don’t believe you actually tried- therefore thinking you have the right to rant again because he didn’t listen- GROW THE F*** UP!!!!

I understand…

No… no you fucking don’t. All psychiatrists are the same: your forced to go to them in the first place, your forced to tell them something, and then they’re like “uh huh uh huh, i understand”

NO YOU FUCKING DONT

quite obviously by your profession and success you do not have a fucked up head- have you gone through my exact situation when you were my age- have you- HAVE YOU!!!!

and even if you have- did you grow up the same way i did- exact same people- exact situations- no ya probably didnt

im one of those people who believe to a certain extent that situations in life can shape your thinking

but at the same time- i am my own person, and there is no way in hell, that even if you were faced with all the exact situations that i was that you would react the same way to it every time- therefore making it absolutely fucking impossible for you to understand- your not me- you don’t understand- and when faced with mental delusions- the last thing i would want my psyciatrist to do is understand them- dont that mean ur fucked up too

so just fuck off

Sorry again

Sorry guys I haven’t been blogging for a while- not that it matters; no one reads this anyway

I’ve been preoccupied of late battling- well lets just say battling something. I cannot believe my roommate- she friggin bitches at me for ordering a freakin pizza- like “all i ever see you eat is pizza, popcorn, and macaroni”

well im sorry i didn’t realize it was your fucking business

nevermind the fact that had she cared to look in the fridge: oh look my leftovers from a couple nights ago: pasta, steamed veggies, cheese sauce, and crescent rolls

as if i wasn’t messed up enough as it is she has to go bringing my eating abnormalities into light

MYOB- that is all i have to say

A day in the life of…

IT IS 06:30, WAKE UP.

FUCK MY LIFE!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

SLOWLY REALISE I HAVE A FIELD TRIP AT 0800, GET UP… SHOWER, GET DRESSED, CAPTAIN CRUNCH, SHOES, BACKPACK W CLIPBOARD, WALK TO PARKING LOT B, GET ON CORRECT BUS, LOOK DEPRESSED STARING OUT WINDOW UNTIL ARRIVAL OF DESTINATION, HAZILY MAKE MY WAY THROUGH FIELD TRIP LEARNING SOMETHING- HOPEFULLY, GET BACK ON BUS, GO BACK TO SCHOOL STARING OUT WINDOW LOOKING DEPRESSED, LOOK DEPRESSED IN LOUNGE FOR 2 HOURS WHILE DELIBERATELY NOT EATING ANYTHING, GO TO COMM34, GO HOME AFTER MAKING IT THROUGH A HORRIBLY BORING SEMINAR, SLEEP AWAY IN MY DEPRESSION… CAN I DIE YET?

Sorry! :D

Ya, haven’t written in a while have I? Mind you, having no followers means that nobody cares…

I came home for reading week, and I was SUPPOSED to go see my friend for a couple days only she forgot that we had made plans… so thats a no… but lasertag on sunday should be fun… then a VERY long Hwy 401 drive back to lindsay and fleming college…

I am really craving a smoothie from booster juice right now… like I’m thinking I might die… what flavor would i get though if i could… probably a funky monkey with some weird herbal booster…

I’m thinking of becoming a vegetarian- mainly because I like tofu… and thats about it… but i figure it will be more of a free range meat only kinda thing…

anyway i’m out of random thoughts and i realise that this post isn’t deep… but maybe it is… maybe i’m making you reflect on the shallowness of humankind… whatever… im out

Studying the Bible… session 2

Gen. 5:21-24

When Enoch had lived sixty five years he became the father of Methuselah. Enoch walked with God after the birth of Methuselah three hundred years, and had other sons and daughters. Thus all the days of Enoch were three hundred sixty five years. Enoch walked with God; then he was no more, because God took him.

It makes me curious, what was so special about Enoch that he got to walk with God? This man, Enoch, lived the shortest life of all his family, shortest by approximately 500- 600 years. He was also the only one to have been mentioned “walking with God” and the only one to have been specifically “taken” by God.

Gen. 5:28-32

This verse is also curious because Lamech lived to be a holy age. To be specific, 777 years. He was also the father of Noah, the man who became known as Noah of the Ark. Noah is the first man to have multiple sons whose names are mentioned since Cain and Abel / Seth. The sons of Noah are: Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

Studying the Bible (NRSV)

This will be the first in a series, I’m going to read the bible and whenever a particular section speaks to me I will write about it here.

Gen.3:22-24

Then the Lord God said, “See, the man has become like one of us, knowing good and evil; and now he might reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”—therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from which he was taken. He drove out the man; and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim, and a sword flaming and turning to guard the way to the tree of life.

 

Some people claim that humanity lost our immortality when we were drove from the garden of Eden. This I find to be impossible, humanity was never immortal, otherwise God would not have feared us eating of the tree of life, we would not have been driven from the garden. Sure we lost the potential to be immortal, but you cannot lose what you do not have to begin with.

Why does he?

Tonight I approach a question that has been asked many times and answered many times but never to my satisfaction.

Why DOES this all powerful god of ours allow pain and suffering?

I think he gave us free will, he gave us the ability to carve our lives the way we choose, but in doing so and accepting that freedom comes a price, it means that other people can affect our lives. Just remember though… we are the only ones who have control over ourselves… we are the only ones who can decide whether or not it will effect us.

Don’t… I’m offended by it…

Has anybody ever stopped and said “Well… I’ll pray for you”

If you’ve said it to someone, have you ever thought that maybe it offends them and they just don’t want to tell you.

I personally can see the good intentions behind it, but I can also see the potential bad intentions behind it. I don’t want people saying that they will pray for me, because it sounds to me that they think I’m wrong in the way I think and that they are going to ask God to give me some grande epiphany saying “hey you know that person, well they were right.”

I do not believe God will ever say that, whether you pray for me or not, but the nerve of someone to ask for it. Well it plain old pisses me off.

For future reference. Don’t pray for me, and if you insist on doing so, don’t tell me you’re going to do it. oh and the one thing that pisses me off faster are more than anything else would be people that are close minded and think that they are right and their way of thinking is the only way to think.

Till next time

Misunderstandings

WOW!!

It never ceases to amaze me how much people don’t understand about other religions. Often its hard to explain my viewpoint because as far as I can tell its completely unique. I’ve never met or heard of anybody that thinks about things quite the same way as I do. I guess that’s partly because nobody else in this world has had the exact same thoughts and experiences as I have had. It really makes me wonder whether that one philosopher was right or not, can’t remember his name but he figured that the way a person thinks and feels depends solely on the way they were raised, learned to react, and were taught to think. If somebody else was raised in the exact same way as you, learned to react the same way as you, had the same experiences as you, WOULD they think the same way as you?

I can’t explain the way I think fully partly because I don’t even understand completely the way my own mind works… that’s how I learned that you can’t explain about something you don’t even know about.

A lot of people I meet are close minded, they think that the way THEY think is the only right way to think. I beg to disagree. People are unique, Classic line: If God wanted us all to be the same, he would have made us that way.

But he didn’t, surely he must have had a reason for that.

I was actually talking to someone about this kind of thing this evening and *not a joke* they honestly thought Buddhism was a cult…

I may not be able to explain exactly how I look at it, but I can get her information about it. I say to those of you who have assumptions about particular religions: “Go on an adventure within your own house. Research the religions, learn what they are about, and don’t stop learning until you at least partially OPEN MINDEDLY understand what they are about”

Till next time

Music

I don’t think that there is anybody in the entire world who deep down does not enjoy SOME type of music.

With that said, I express my feelings through music, when I’m alone because I can’t sing, but at least I have an outlet. That does not mean I like all kinds of music… people who are like me should find the right song for them… actually songS because different moods will require a different way of expressing yourself. Music can make you feel things you didn’t even know you were feeling, it can trigger memories, sometimes painful, but the painful ones are almost the most important ones because they show you that life goes on even when you think that it should have stopped. I dunno, maybe I’m just rambling but hey, that is kind of what this blog is about.

Your deepest thoughts and emotions come to life when you start talking to yourself… which I happen to do a lot.

ok… this post is not deep

hey this is not deep… as is evident by the title… but i am venting because my computer is not working properly

so in a word

FUCK

No more Christmas…

Normally the Christmas spirit continues for a while after Christmas Day, not this year. On December 28th at 2:30am, my great grandmother: Dorothy Bruce, passed away. The funeral was New Years Eve. When someone dies at that time of year, it’s like the Christmas spirit hits a brick wall, it just stops and it’s almost like your in shock. Such an abrupt change of emotions sends your entire body into shut down. The funny thing is, that side of the family wasn’t going to get together for Christmas because of the fact that so many of the members had moved recently. Fate brought us together 3 days later. May God keep her spirit safe and keep my family from devastation caused by grief.

So no more Christmas, no more New Years, no more Dorothy Bruce, no more…

super happiness high

Do you know what it feels like to be on a super happiness high? I do, at least thats what I call the feeling I have had for the past 24 hours. I want to be a priest or do something important in ministry anyway… I told my mom this, well I told her that someone else thinks i should, then I said “And it’s not like I’ve never thought about it”, so I’d say that amounts to telling her, for now. She told me that it’s not the first time she’s heard of someone seeing that in me. I had to smack her on the arm with my new book “Have a little faith” by Mitch Albom before she would tell me who had said what. Before I tell you who, maybe I should say that the person who first voiced that they saw me in ministry, and by voiced I mean actually TO me, was Grayhame Bowcott. Seminary student and mentor to me, he told me that I would be good for that kind of work. I believed him, like I said to my mom, it’s not like I had NEVER thought about it, after a while though I started to think, well Gray has only seen me at synod, when my spark turns to a roaring flame, when I’m in what some would call a spiritual high. I started to have doubts about whether I would really be good for ministry type work. Going back to what my mom told me: Tom Wilson, someone I never thought had taken any particular notice of me, former pastor, had told my mom that if any of us three (us being me, my sister, and my brother) were to go into ministry that he’d bet it would be me. Tom Wilson who saw me everywhere EXCEPT synod, a man who has seen me through thick and thin, good moods and bad, a man who saw me grow up… Tom Wilson thought that I’d be good for ministry. In the days I knew Tom, I didn’t really think about going into ministry too much, so it can’t have been him seeing that, no he saw me: the person.

This new news has lifted me higher than any cloud in the sky, now I know that I’m meant to go somewhere and make a difference, I know that I’m meant to do something in this world and in this life.

Till next time

Adhira

Journeys

Life is a journey, a long one, over the years everybody learns that. People say that your parents, teachers, friends…etc influence who you are… I say not. Parents and teachers you don’t have a choice about who you get, but whether or not they influence you is up to you. This is because you are a sentient being, at least last time I checked we were. Sentience gives you the power to decide whether or not you will let what people do influence you. Friends you pick yourself, and you probably pick them for who you believe them to be, that’s why they’re your friends. Also… what’s up with the love is most powerful emotion on earth… I don’t think so, I think hope is. Love is something you can live without, it’s even been proven. But hope you can’t, because hope is an involuntary reaction to something that is lacking in your life. You can’t live without hope because it comes whether you want it or not. I have a theory that people mistake love as being the most powerful emotion because they are confusing actual love with hope of finding love. This is often a result of “love lost”, they lost it and now they hope to find it again, because that issue of “you can’t live without love” is stuck in their mentality, so they think that if you can’t live without it then they must hope to find it again or they’ll die (before their time), because obviously we’re all gonna die eventually.

“Without love life is like a season with no summer… without love life is rock n roll without a drummer… without love life is like a beat that you can’t follow… without love life is like a prom that won’t invite us… without love life is is like getting a big break and laryngitis… without love life’s a ‘45’ and you can’t buy it… without love like a week thats only mondays… without love life is like ice cream and never sundaes… without love life’s like a circle with no center… without love life’s like a door marked “do not enter”… “

- thats excerpts from the musical Hairspray by the way

the problem is that… sorry if im contradicting myself… love is also an involuntary reaction, but not necessarily love in the context of being in love with someone, it can be a love of dance, or night-time, or daytime, or whatever you happen to fall in love with because not everything is infatuatory love, sometimes its like an extreme joy, something that sustains your hope, and meaning of life. By sustaining hope i mean that hope can’t exist by itself, it doesn’t have to be as strong as love that it feeds off of, it only has to be a small desire.

This blog is about whatever I’m thinking about at the time, but I will try to delve into “deep” topics as much as possible.

Deep Stuff

New blog coming your way soon...
if you can't tell by the title I'm going to be delving into deep topics, usually related to my life and my thoughts, I know I am really humble.
My thoughts are apparently SO important I feel the need to publish them on the internet for everyone to see.